Ramblings - A Little Bit About My Writing Style

I always hated writing papers in school...this is why I almost failed English every year in high school. My proudest achievement in high school English was when I got a C on my junior year research paper. I turned it in on time. I actually started the paper like the night before it was due and worked through the night. I only got a couple hours of sleep that night, and my mom ended up taking me to school in the middle of the day, right before my English class. Even though I got a C, I was proud of myself and felt good about the paper. I don't care what my teacher thought of it...

In Ohio, like every two years or so, you used to have to take proficiency tests to be able to get to the next grade. I remember writing a story on my writing test in sixth grade that I remember being so horrible that I was surprised I never had to retake the test. I'd like to read that story again someday.

The reason why I always had trouble writing was because I could never be trusted to write about just one topic and my rambling thoughts are very hard to organize and put them into a final product that can fully satisfy me. Even as I am writing this, I'm getting distracted and I'm having to try very hard to even stick to the topic I'm trying to talk about. I'm a perfectionist too, so I keep looking back at what I just wrote and I keep making changes to grammar and usage and then I get so distracted and frustrated that I end up just giving up on writing anything at all and then I have to just move on to something a little less taxing on my mind.

Despite my horrible writing style, I do realize I need to start writing more and be less critical of myself. I know what I want to say most of the time, but I need to find some way of getting my point across in a precise and clear manner. So in an effort to at least get some writing out there, I'm going to start writing a little bit on this blog, even if it is about nothing...like how this post is ending up. Oh god, I have to stop writing now...

Now listening to "LoveStoned" by Justin Timberlake

Update - Yeah, so just in case you were interested, I was looking through my old documents, and here was a little blurb I felt like writing like a month ago, pretty much about the same thing!

Thoughts 15JAN about 0100hrs

I think I have constant writer's block. I have so many ideas in my head, but whenever I actually sit down to put my thoughts on paper or in this case, the computer, my mind goes blank and I can't seem to think of anything to write or type. Whenever I do actually start writing, I keep fretting over grammar and correctness, and it takes so long for me to write what i want to that i either get side tracked or forget what my whole point for writing was in the first place. Maybe it's not so much writer's block as it is a mild case of attention deficit disorder. I remember reading my old report cards from school and my teachers wrote things like, "Kendra is more concerned with socializing than staying on task." Yeah, i acknowledge that i have trouble staying on one task sometimes, but generally, i am not the most social person in the world...no, take that back. I am probably a closet social butterfly. I agree, it sounds crazy, but it's true. i think one of my greatest downfalls is that i'm not fluent nor am i articulate. i have never been good at doing speeches and since i have this mild ADD, i have never been able to write more than maybe a paragraph before i'm sidetracked...ugh. even now, it's almost a physical feeling. I'm getting bored of writing and I have to do something else before i fall asleep...and so goes the days of my life...