I'm a rather introverted and quiet person. Especially when I meet someone for the first time or if I don't know them very well. I'd much rather listen than speak. Someone asked me one time that if there was anything that I would change about myself if I could. I didn't have to think for very long. It wasn't anything like being skinny or pretty or anything like that. I would just want to be articulate.
It amazes me that I'm as interested in languages and people as much as I am because I am horrible at expressing myself. My mind works faster than my mouth or my pen, so I stumble on my words a lot and sometimes when I'm saying something, some kind of connection between my head and my mouth gets cut and then the word I'm about to say just doesn't want to come out of my mouth for some reason. Also, I have perpetual writer's block. If you have been reading this blog any, you can probably tell (yeah, I go on terrible tangents frequently as well).
I have been complemented about my writing style before, but I think my insecurities about speaking and writing really hurt me sometimes. I know this is something I must overcome somehow. Just how I'm supposed to do it is still a mystery to me, but I'm trying bit by bit to come up with ways to help get better at expressing my thoughts and emotions. How about these for ideas?
Ideas for breaking out of my shell:
Volunteer for charity or some kind of event
"People who volunteer are 42% more likely than people who don't to say they are very happy with their lives."
Read to children at a library (Reading is Fundamental!)
Force myself to write on this blog, no matter what it is or how crappy I feel it is.
Be more forward about meeting people and making friends.
After listening to the life stories of a lot of different people, I've decided that up until now at least, I've led a very sheltered and uneventful life. Sure, I've had good times and bad times like everybody else, but no matter how bad you think you've got it, there's somebody out there that has had it worse than you. I've been so very lucky to have had such a boring life.
A part of me wants to keep living this boring existence, but then another part of me wants to break away and live for adventure (whatever that is). Soon, I will begin to undergo a major lifestyle change. I am anticipating that change to be quite difficult at times, but at the same time I'm really expecting it to be quite liberating. Oh, I'm so excited! It'll be just like I'm reborn and I get to start all over again! Of course, I will be coming with some baggage, but who doesn't? Dealing with life's baggage is what makes life interesting, I think. I can never seem to fit it all into one neat and tiny container. Maybe that's why I like boxes so much. (Yeah, that's totally off topic, but I've been trying to pack my bags for the past couple days and I still have a bunch of crap that's not fitting in my bag as nicely as I would like.)
So I've decided that a major part of my new life is going to be spent working on trying to be more extroverted and adventurous. Maybe I should decide on religion as well…um…Religion'll have to be another posting. :)
Here's some touching quotes about change. Just the type of changes that I will soon be going through…
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. - Anatole France
They must often change, who would be constant in happiness or wisdom. - Confucius
If you do not change the direction in which you are going, you will end up where you are headed. - Confucius
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