I do, however, enjoy what I call "stream of consciousness" writing. I often just write whatever comes to mind without worrying too much about whether or not the thoughts make any sense to a wider audience. It's how I usually write in my journal. Sometimes I have this urge to create something or write words either by pen or keyboard, and I suppose this style of writing helps to fill that void.
I've been thinking recently about how in recent years I've gradually become more and more reclusive and reluctant to talk to new people. I started out on the internet at around 15 years of age and due to a paranoia of being exploited for child pornography or something equally horrific, I used the veil of anonymity to its full advantage and talked to a whole range of people I didn't personally know under the guise that I was about 5 years older than my current age and a college student. I never gave my real name or sent any real photos, and most of what I said were blatant lies told to keep myself "safe." I had a few people I kept in contact with pretty regularly and who I considered friends, albeit faceless friends who could have possibly been telling me lies as well. It was a fun couple of years, but I don't think I can go back to that. Social media has helped to make the internet not so anonymous anymore and lying about yourself can be hard work. It's much easier work of keeping my story straight when I'm not telling complete lies. I sometimes get the urge to go into a random chat room, but I quickly tire of it because meaningful conversations with strangers on the internet have been so hard to come by. The odds of getting past a/s/l is very slim and it appears that I only get to chat at any length with perverts.
I could participate in online forums and such, but I feel like if I can't bring anything new and relevant to the conversation, I would rather sit back and read what all the other idiots are saying. The one online forum that I did any significant contribution to had yielded some important friendships, but again, my perfectionism, reclusiveness, agoraphobia or whatever you want to call it has kept me from pursuing the interaction too much further.
I just went and took a look at my blog. Damn...the last time I posted anything was 2011, and it's now closing in on the end of 2015. It looks like I've got a lot of cleaning up to do.
As a parting gift, I'll just post Adele's new song which has been taking over the world for the last month or so. Adele is great and everything, but I think she's a little overplayed and I can only listen to sad songs so many times before I go batty. I can understand her popularity though...there aren't many great singer/songwriters out there anymore, which is a shame. At any rate, this is a good song.